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Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Stop Assuming and Start Trusting!



Assumptions are made too often and ordinarily will not get anyone too far while trying to get to the bottom of most issues that arise. For some, assuming answers, rather than allowing facts to be discovered, can come naturally to an individual.

This person may have used this method for so long without ever fully comprehending the core source of why they assume or how others feel when the inclination is performed.

Underlying concerns may originate from an individual consistently and constantly always assuming the worst case scenario. This may have started from predisposed notions witnessed either early in life. Derivatives could also be from severe or minor levels of insecurity, a sense of control or release or a number of trust related problems one may have developed, such used as a defense mechanism.

I suppose if all humans were honest, then to ask and trust others would be more of a second nature. This would make life and all its chaotic moments that much more easy to grin and bare through. However, we all know this is not the case, but relying on trust within all inquiries must be initiated in order to figure out the fiction from fact.

The truth within regarding concerns should not matter whether the answer or inquiry is more serious or more meaningful than the next. The trust one must have for another will always outweigh the problematic tone and potential catastrophe brought forth by mere assumptions. 

Knowing the factual information firsthand, rather than information stated by third party persons, would be thought of as common sense to most. This concept tends to be left underneath the dinner table for the dog to eat or for a later date when it is found to be molded and steaming with a foul smell. In other words, that of the purposeful truth is lost until normally found to late once the damage has been created without the hope of pressing any rewind button.

The mind has a tendency to play mind games and tricks, rather than gather the associated content needed to truly have a debatable and mature conversation with another human being.

The old saying goes, “Don’t assume, because you make an a - - out of me and an a - - out of you.” I believe this is true to the highest degree. Humiliation can be the emotion felt between both parties, especially if assumptions are made way above and beyond where the truth lies.

One making assumptions may not know how to accumulate collection of factual information. Or one may simply assume if they ask, then the other person would never tell the truth anyhow. This leads to bitter feelings when it comes to lack of trust and communicative skills in any type of relationship.

Think of jealousy and how a current or past boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife…etc has come to you with an assumption. They may have approached the situation without any comprehensive facts as far as the who, what, when, where, why or even the how. This person may have refused to let you justify any explanation as to what lay in the eyes of the truth.

Has that same individual presented their clear cut notion of “what really happened”, but never allowed you to state your case at that moment, nor in the future and the relationship ended or dissipated because of repetitive behaviors without improvements?

This unwillingness to have any thoughts of hearing you. It also is bound from disbelief that the simple truth is not that simple to be heard, no matter what that may be. When one makes an absolute incorrect conclusion it can be the most frustrating and overwhelming sense of disappointment.

Ultimately, the origin of the anger may feels on either end of the assumption could have been prevented with opening clearer lines of communication, patience and actively listening.

If one insists upon assuming, especially within any relationship, without the allowance of  verbalization, then consideration of the another route for the relationship’s destination may need to be filtered or started fresh.

Unless one is willing to make a personal change within their own emotions the fact of assuming will always present itself in insecure conditions causing unneeded conflicts. Stop assuming and start trusting or get out!

These abrupt circumstances could be avoided by complete trust and honesty, mutually, for one another instead of jumping to fictional opinions or beliefs.

Never make assumptions, but remember to set the truth free!

Article Written by Mandy Zadoorian
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